Dating. Try her out to see if she’s right for you. Join with someone you think you’ve kind of figured out and make it work according to your assumptions and society’s conventions.
Arranged marriage. Join with a mostly unknown and make it work according to your assumptions, your parents’ assumptions and society’s conventions. (with infinite variations, because every human is distinct)
In writing fantasy and science fiction, I invent societies to reflect and comment on what I see. History? Psychology? Anthropology? They are all in the mix. A writer is a student of human behaviour.
The #metoo has me thinking. Our western society values the dating game. We are obsessed with finding the right one to mate with. We believe we can choose for ourselves AND if we get it wrong, we believe we can choose an infinite number of times with few and insignificant consequences.
The point of joining is sexual activity.
Sexual predators have extended the dating paradigm to its tragic conclusion. They choose and re-choose by the moment. Their sexual activity is the only characteristic influencing their choice. Notice I said their sexual activity. They have no awareness of the person they pursue.
All kinds of factors influence arousal, awareness and inhibition. (What? Did she just say ‘inhibition’? That’s a dirty word! We have ‘evolved’ beyond being inhibited!) Your assumptions, your parents’ assumptions, society’s conventions, history, psychology and anthropology are all part of the mix. (with infinite variations, because every human is distinct)
And again I ask, Who will save us from this body of death that extends every human paradigm to its tragic conclusion?